What Happened When We Quit TV

Something I never thought I’d say: we quit screens full time.

My kids haven’t watched TV in 3 months now. And the changes I’ve seen are INSANE.

For one, I never thought I could actually quit TV because I literally needed it to get anything done. How could I survive without my built in babysitter? I always turned on the TV when the kids were fussy and I “just couldn’t” any longer. But once analyzing what the TV was actually doing for me, I realized it was causing me more work rather than less. Let me explain.

But after spending so much time with the TV on during my 20 weeks of pregnancy nausea, it just didn’t feel good. The kids behavior was directly correlated to the amount of screen time they had. The more TV they watched, the worse they behaved. It became so obvious that I couldn’t even deny it anymore. I told myself that once I felt better, I was going to really limit the TV.

Plus, the kids started acting up whenever I had the TV on. It was like this unexpected, undeniable rage would occur when I had the wrong show or movie on. The entire day was tougher, more frustrating, and less joyful. I didn’t know where it was coming from. Turns out, it was the TV.

Screen time oftentimes led to crying and frustration in our home. I’d turn on a show, which would lead to tears because it wasn’t the right show that Sienna wanted to watch. Or I would change the show during it because I didn’t approve of what I was hearing. (Yes, if you sat down and listened to your kids shows, you’d be shocked. At least I was. Even Peppa Pig. I recall one episode where the “secret password” was “Daddy has a big belly.” And then they showed the Dad sad that they were teasing him?! Or the Wheels On the Bus featuring a child with two moms. This isn’t something I need my kids seeing now, or ever. And had I not been siting and actively watching the show, I would have never caught this message. So what else have I missed along the way?

It wasn’t even a break anymore. Because I had to supervise as they watched to make sure it was appropriate. One rough day, with lots of tears over the TV, I decided we were done. No. More. TV.

I didn’t really know if it would last, but I pretended to be really confident that I was serious.

The next three days, Sienna asked to watch TV every morning. When I said no, she only cried the first day. After that, never again. I took the attention off the TV, offered other activities, and was surprised at how much more excited they were about these new activities than they ever was about watching shows. And the fourth day, she didn’t even ask about the TV, and hasn’t since then.

In fact, after listening to a Coffee and Pearls Podcast, I remember hearing that they watch a movie on Sunday as a family. I figured this could be a special treat. So we tried it. But it ended up being Tom and I watching the movie and the kids leaving the room after five minutes to go play. They don’t even want to watch TV anymore! It makes us laugh and happy at the same time.

Because as adults, we feel like we can relate. When we put our phones down, something that feels so difficult to do, we find such joy outside of being on a screen. What experiences did we miss by staring at our screen thus far? (It is never too late to make a change in this area!)

Things that have helped me transition to no TV:

• Let the kids be bored. They will find a way to entertain themselves if you let them try long enough.
• Have books at arms reach. I always said my kids didn’t like books. Until I cut TV. Now they are book worms!
• Let them get their hands dirty with making play dough, using crayons, sand, whatever it may be. Take it outside now that the weather is warming up!
• Embrace the mess that they will make. TV means less clean up of toys, but remind yourself of how short these years are. And that one day, we will be wishing we had toys (or couch cushions) to pick up.
• Don’t get stressed if they’re fussy. Kids will be tired and fussy at times, and it doesn’t need to be remedied in 2 seconds. They will learn that it’s ok to be upset, and we will learn that it’s ok to help them without using a TV.
• Don’t give in (if you want to make it last). It’s like sleep training (but not nearly as hard). The benefits far outweigh the tough first few days.
• Get outside when you can. It tires the kids out and is so good for them to get fresh air. 

Enjoy the results. Because I am telling you, my kids seem like different children now. Their behavior is better, Sienna has learned so much just by playing alone and asking me questions, and everyone is so much happier. The days don’t feel nearly as long anymore (can any moms relate to this feeling?).

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And now life without TV is normal. It’s joyful. We fenced our backyard, and weather permitting, we send them outside. I watch them learn by playing, touching, smelling, and tasting. And I wonder how many of these moments would not exist had I not cut out the TV.

Has anyone else cut TV? Please share your experiences in the comments!